Balance

Shaun came back from his trip on Sunday night and we had to go straight to his company leaving party. Some of his soldiers were getting deployed this week and that was the last opportunity for the whole company to get together. It was very emotional for me to be there and listen to all the speeches but it was a good night.

I am finding it extremely difficult to juggle all the things in my life at the moment. I need to get that right balance that I am always striving for but it's not easy. Work has been quite busy lately but I enjoyed facing some new challenges at work so that was not really a problem from me. However, when I get home from work all I want to do is spend time with Shaun. When he is away I am totally devoted to my work and training and I hardly miss a workout and if I do, it is usually because of a late night in the office. But with Shaun's leaving date fast approaching I find it soooo hard to come home, say hello to him and head upstairs for an hour on the computrainer. When I know that in 3 weeks time I will be all on my own and would dream of the evenings spent together. Last night, for example, I had a 90 mins workout on the trainer but on my way back home all I wanted was a nice evening with Shaun. So I skipped the workout and we went out to a nice Mexican restaurant for a dinner. I felt really guilty about it but we've had lovely evening so why do I feel guilty?

Anyway, I have talked him into riding with me tomorrow so at least that is one way of getting the balance.

Update

Not much has been happening since I last wrote. On Thursday last week very very early (something like 3 am) Shaun left to go to Afghanistan. He is only there on a course for 10 days and should be back early next week. He will then have some time off before he deploys in early April for 6 months. When he left last week and I saw him in desert uniform I have no idea what happened to me but I couldn't stop my tears. I mean there was no reason for them - he will be back soon and he's been away far longer recently on various exercises. But I think seeing him in that uniform brought me back to reality and the fact that very very soon he will be gone for 6 months and I will have to deal with it. I really did not want him to see me cry but I just couldn't stop those damn tears. He went on this course with two junior officers. One of them is married and they live next door to us so in a way that was easier for me because Kate (his wife) and I could spend some time together.

I know I am not always overly excited about the life in the Army but with Shaun being away these days everyone has been very nice. I got invited for a dinner and cinema last weekend. I was invited by young officers to a dinner in the Officers' Mess (ok, ok, I should probably send my single female friends), tomorrow I am for for another dinner with an army couple. In addition people have been calling, texting etc. The support has been great and that is what is great about the life "with" the army.

The training has been going well. Last Saturday my triathlon club organised a swimming gala (swim meet for all my North American friends) just for the club members and some guests. The idea was that anyone could sign up for any number of races and we, who do not normally compete in swimming, would have the opportunity to experience the atmosphere. I thought it was a great idea and very well organised. I competed in 3 races and was reasonably happy with how I did, but I was ecstatic about one thing - I actually DOVE OFF the blocks. I've never done that in my life (yes I did "bomb" as a child) and was terrified, but I loved it.

The picture at the beginning of this post is from a Thanet 20 mile running race three years ago. On Sunday I will running the same race again. That should be....interesting to say the least. Hopefully the rain we have had recently will be gone and the horrible cold wind that froze me on my run this morning will be nothing but a breeze.