Thursday, 15 July 2010

Heroes

I have been meaning to write this blog post for few days now and I had in my head a topic of writing about the ironman training and how great the rest week seems because the longest workout was 2 hours. But that just seems so trivial and irrelevant to me. On Tuesday life and the way I see life has changed forever.

On Tuesday we got news of three people from Shaun's unit being killed. Two officers and one soldier. I did not know the soldier but I did know the officers very well. I will not talk about how we found out and how we felt but what I will say is that in those moments the only people you actually want to spend time with are other spouses and girlfriends who are going through the same thing. Tuesday was hard. None of us have spoken to any of our other halves and I just felt helpless and numb. I didn't eat anything on Tuesday and could hardly sleep. Yesterday was not much better - I made it to work but I only stayed for couple of hours because all I did was staring at my computer screen doing absolutely nothing.

It is amazing how life changes in a second. You loose focus and nothing, apart from family and friends, seems important. Suddenly training and racing are totally irrelevant and reading blogs is the last thing on your mind. You start thinking how people are ignorant because they don't know what is going on. But it is no one's fault really and you can't blame anyone because why should people know any of that stuff. Why should they feel the way you feel? Until Tuesday morning I used to count the days until Shaun gets back home on R&R. I have stopped doing that. Now I just take each day as it comes.

I woke up this morning and thought that I would feel this day was a success if I stayed at work the whole day and not cry at all. It is mid-day and I am trying my hardest to make this a successful day. But I can't stop thinking about Josh and Neal and how young they were and how the whole life was still in front of them. We will miss you so much guys and the parties in the Officers' Mess will never be the same. We are so proud of you and everything you've done to keep us safe.

And even though you will be sorely missed you will never ever be forgotten. Jai 1RGR!!!

10 comments:

Pedergraham said...

I hope today is an easier day for you. I am keeping you and Shaun and the families of those soldiers in my thoughts.

jessithompson said...

Gulp... wow. You do such a beautiful job of expressing your feelings in this post. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers... sending a hug your way.

Beth said...

Oh Angelina, I am so sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine. Will be thinking of you guys. Hope today and each day can get a little easier for you.

Angela and David Kidd said...

I can't imagine what you and the other families are going through. I hope you had the successful day you wanted to have but I think a few good cries in the bathroom or behind a shut door are okay. Shaun and his unit are incredibly brave and giving and we are all so lucky they are willing to make the sacrifices that they do.

SSB said...

Oh man. I'm so sorry to hear this. But know that your day will not be unsuccessful if you cry. Not at all. If you have to let it out, do, and if you're uncomfortable with it, just tell yourself your crying for the guys in the unit who are still over there, because they don't get to take as much time to feel the sorrow.

淑娟淑娟淑娟 said...

時間可證明一切~你的BLOG是我覺得不賴的............................................................

Kim said...

So terrible to hear that.. my thoughts and prayers are with their families.. you are totally right..things are bigger than training / racing for sure. Just keep your head up and know he will be in your arms again safe & sound soon!! Thinking of you ADC!!

江桂宸江桂宸 said...

生命所經歷的折磨愈多,其所產生的奮鬥力愈大。............................................................

GoBigGreen said...

I am so sorry. I know i have talked to marit about this at times and how you cannot even begin to prepare for a loss like this. Please know i have you and the families in my prayers. I hope each day your grief eases and you can find hope and laughter in some daily activities, events, people, friends, family, etc..
Hang in there:)

Charisa said...

You are all in our prayers. Hang in there, sending you hugs!